Carabinieri

This is the reason I haven't updated my blog in about 30 years. I got a job. A job teaching 17 "military police" 30 hours a week. I teach 8 - 6 on Mondays, Tuesdays and Thursdays with a 1 1/2 hour lunch break. Then on Wednesdays and Fridays I teach 8 - 1:15pm. On the days I work until 6, I come home and lesson plan for the next day, eat dinner and go to bed. On Wednesday I come home and I sit and do NOTHING for 3 hours, because I tell myself I deserve it. Even my weekends I spend lesson planning. Don't get me wrong . . . I love this job! I mean I work with 12 men in uniforms every day (5 are women). They are all extremely respectful AND they are all between the ages of 21 - 28. 

This has definitely confirmed my passion for teaching, although at the end of week I wanted to collapse on the spot. I am not really tired as much as I am just exhausted. My brain hurts so bad, because I constantly have to be on my feet listening to everything they say, so that I can correct and better their English. Plus, Italians are extreme rule followers when it comes to grammar. It's hard for them to understand that EVERY rule in English is broken at least once. Explaining that on a repetitive basis is enough to make my brain stop working. 

At the beginning of every day and at the end they have to salute me. I still haven't gotten used to this. They all stand up and the "leader" of the group says in Italian, "attention" and they all stand at attention, while the "leader" turns around and says (in an italian accent) "Hello teacher, we are here to serve you. I hope you had a good morning. Thank you". It varies a little every day, but it still makes me giggle every time they do it. Needless to say, I am standing at the front of the classroom, extremely awkward not knowing what to do, because 17 people are all staring at me.

Ok so funny stories. You really have to hear my impersonation of the Italian accent to appreciate the stories, but I will share anyways.

One thing is they HAVE to call me "teacher". So about a million times a days
I hear, "Uh excuse me, teacher." I told them to call me Brie and they say
they can't because their boss told them that they have to call me teacher.

Last Week I had to give them an oral exam and one of the questions was, "Describe a room in your house. " Well one of my students tells me, "Allora, my chicken (kitchen) has a shink (sink), a refrigerator and an oben (oven)." I had to seriously turn my head to stop from laughing.

One of the guy's name is Marco and I tried explaining to him the other day that every time I say his name I want to follow it with "polo" that got completely lost in translation. I just had 17 people staring at me with blank faces. This happens a lot, because they are at the beginner level and I refuse to speak italian to them, because doing so forces them to speak English. Luckily, they all think it is really funny when I try to say a joke or explain something funny and no one gets it. So they end up laughing AT me instead of WITH me.

Two days ago, I taught them body parts. So we played Simon says. Well it took them forever to get the game and then one of the girls, MariaGrazia or Mary Grace, went up and did the usual, "put your hand on your head, put you hand on your foot" then she said, "put your lips . . ." and she paused so I pointed to my lips to make sure that is what she meant. And one of the boys said "put your lips on the teacher." Haha. The whole class started laughing and you would be so proud of me . . . I didn't even blush. Normally I would have turned bright red and walked out of the class.

The other funny story isn't funny unless you hear me say it, but basically we were talking about meals and we were on dinner. They said you eat meat for dinner, so I said what types of meat. First off, they eat horse. I was blown away and tried to tell them that horses are pets and I can't eat a pet. They tried to convince me that is was the best type of meat. Then one
of the students was trying to say "wild boar" but he was saying, "Whiiieelll Booohhhh"  all I kept hearing what "white ball". I lost it in front of the class and only like 3 guys realized
why I was laughing and told me what the first guy was trying to say. Pretty funny!

Ok last story. So there are a total of 5 teachers at the school. Three teach English, one French and the other Spanish. The Spanish teacher speaks Italian and Spanish, so our conversations are always very interesting. The other day, I was talking to the French teacher and the Spanish teacher. Everyone is kind of confused as to what I am doing here, meaning that they don't quite understand that I have moved here to teach English. They two of them were asking me why I am teaching. The French lady was asking if I am doing it for my family. I told them no that I am doing it so that I can live here and support myself. Meanwhile during this conversation, the Spanish teacher is pointing at my stomach asking me if I am teaching for, "Un Bambina?" The first time I just ignored it and then she asked me again. I looked down at my stomach thinking, "Are you serious?". I mean I had a heavy jacket on, but I KNOW I don't look pregnant. I had to tell her twice that I did NOT have "Un Bambina." Seriously, I was about to punch her, but it made for a funny story.

So this is why I haven't been blogging and I apologize. 

At the end of the course I am making them take a picture with me, so that I can show you how handsome and pretty they look.